I went ten days without a computer which is like going ten days without a beer. Practically unheard of if not impossible but I did it. Going to Portland and my return to Kodiak are the reasons for no updated review of the program BUT I took notes as I didn't miss either episode the last two weeks. Regular readers should note there will be no Puking in Portland post as the Rose City is like my personal Vegas.
Week Two we witness a crew member touch a seagull. Not that way, sicko. I've never seen anyone do that but then again why would you want to touch one of those filthy bastards. Rats with wings I've heard them called but if that was true they'd be bats so come up with something else derogatory about seagulls. I heard a story before I left Kodiak about guys back in the day shooting them and using them for bait. Now they are pets. JC and a side of rice, YALL GETTING SOFT!
I have that same Peter Pan hat Capt. D wears but it never goes on my head. Peter Pan is a processor all around Alaska but the name reminds me of Micheal Jackson too much. You look kind of creepy walking around Outside with a Peter pan hat on. I'd rather touch a seagull.
They have a nice underwater shot of a pot coming up and it appears to me this is the best season visually yet. The time lapse shots are great.
My notes say "RR capt lying-knows this isn't good" but I have no idea what about. Lying is never good and you aren't usually going to get away with it when you have a camera on you 24/7. This is why I don't have my own reality program.
The Wizard is shooting blanks at the Black Hills. Now my homies in this business told me that before the show was created that the Wiz was one of if not the top crab boat in the Bering Sea, even outgunning some Kodiak legends who will remain nameless due to my lack of memory. Give me ten days for recall. It is no surprise this vessel was one of the few to get on the program although I'm hearing more and more that boat owners are passing on the chance to be included. I've always wondered why some vessels don't return to the show while others Brett Favre their way ahead.
Joe's Crab Shack looks kind of lame. I saw one in Vancouver, Washington driving back to Seattle recently and wondered what happened to Sea Galley. Anthony's or bust. Are DC fans more likely to eat crab? And if the demographic for the show is 35-55 year old human females why are so many of the ads male oriented (not counting the Can-Am three wheel motorcycle-total chick ride)?
The issue of how much authority a "captain" on a fishing boat has over a crew member's personal autonomy arises. It is a job, not the military, so lippy deckhands can't go to the brig. This isn't an area I feel I can speak on with any true knowledge except that every boat is different. Are you taking "orders" from yer boss or commanding officer. Debate this amongst yerselves and get back to me in the morning. And go get me some coffee.
I'm calling out the Northwestern here on playing to the camera. I wonder if the camera operators ever ask for retakes.
Sand fleas. Like sand people, but fleas. Obi One has taught you well.
Fast Five ad. Vin Diesel would make a good crabber when they make DC The Movie. That pretty guy, Paul Walker, not so much. And don't think there isn't a script floating around out there. Spike Walker, you listening? But Will Ferrell doing a feral hogs movie might be better.
35 minutes into the program we get the Seabrooke. Dude is having trouble keeping up with the baiting. Try doing it without a machine. Like me. Balls the size of the Dakotas. Scott is preaching the competition concept like he's Pete Carroll. I'm not totally sold on this idea unless it is a divide and conquer kinda deal. If the crew is fighting with each other they won't be messing with the skipper. Whateva.
Oddly the Kodiak and now the Time Bandit didn't appear the entire program. Wild Bill wasn't on last week but it just isn't the same without the Homersexuals (not to be confused with the unmanly music video ending).
Moving the Week Three I recently saw the Capt. Sig line of sauces for dead marine flesh such as tartar sauce. Tartar sauce is kidspeak for retarded I'll have you know. Cocktail sauce is.....nevermind. I might get the set of four for Christmas for dad just to watch him roll his eyes. I recently saw Keith Colburn used to sell regional beer, too. I thought he comes across as more of a White Zin drinker. Edgar should be doing ads for Colt 45.
I also got word Jillian's pool hall in the South Lake Union part of Seattle is showing the show with Mr. Colbert in attendance. Nobody is rolling in his own 15 minutes more than this guy. Humble, maybe not, but I can't blame him either.
For the record St. Matthew Island is not named after the Seahawks quarterback.
Josh and Jake Harris are now 12.5% owners each of the Cornelia Marie but if one of them (guess which one) f-words up can the skipper can the part owner? A lawyer just nutted somewhere. And do they get a crewshare on top of their ownership percentage or in place of. The answer is...none of yer business. And BOAT stands for what? The baby was crying and I missed that part. I've always been told a boat is a hole in the water you throw money into.
From the Black Hills to the Black Canyon. I guess Colburn is going to want Johnny Depp to play him.
Do they make a pot launching horn ring tone yet? I'd actually consider getting that. No I wouldn't.
And the whole superstition thing. I'm still siding with baseball players over fishermen in this department as more crazy when trying to control that which can not be controlled. When the rainbow came out I thought the Time Bandit would be on the end of it with a ginger midget dressed in green floating in the water full of bullets from a Soviet era assault rifle. Way to Sarah Palin that buoy, boys. You know Johnathan has a box of grenades stashed somewhere in the bow, right?
Coors Light Home Draft. Finally a product that is suited for middle age women. No self respecting man drinks that schmitt.
Scott tells his missing finger story and a million light beer sucking ladies want those hands all over them. I gotta get on this program. I wonder how it ranks with 21-34 year old chicks? 24 million viewers and beating out the NBA playoffs. You can't deny this show ain't a force. You simply can't.
Star fish. Pretty. I learned this lesson for the first time myslef back in January. I was going to try to make another Star Wars analogy but then decided against it.
I'm willing to bet we leave for Bristol bay on May 26th because that's when Hangover 2 comes out and work will assure I see it first on the small screen in the late fall. Damn. It. Every year I miss all the blockbusters busting my balls with a purse seine and power block.
Swamp Brothers. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Jake gets a shot at maneuvering the CM and picking some pots from the skipper's seat only to later get caught wearing Chronic for Men. This gets us back to can the skipper fire the part owner and how much authority he has in this situation. As you may know illegal drugs can lead to vessel seizure by The Man but then again weed is legal in Alaska plus they might be in international waters. Maybe dude will appear on Alaska State Troopers next week.
I'm impressed that Kyle did 15 months in Iraq. In fact I wish they discussed more about his experience over there and comparing the dangers, heat vs. cold, etc. I'll take freezing over 100 degree plus weather any day.
After 40 minutes the Ramblin' Rose finally appear. Third week in a row without the Kodiak. Are eight boats too many to fit in an hour?
Finally we have the issue with the Wizard and the partner boat. I'm not following his logic but at the same time why greed didn't the partner boat greed call him greed on the sat phone greed greed and tell him to come over? Was it greed? What is the point of having a partner and when is the civil union?
OK, I've done my part. Now on to something far more exciting: The NFL Draft!
