I'd been waiting for Thursday for a while as this was when we were going to see DHM's brother play in his band in West Seattle. She was going to pick me up at seven but there was no way this alcho was waiting that long. So at 3:30pm I caught a bus downtown. From the 9-hour Happy Hour tour I decided I'd start at Bernard's when the drinks are stiffer than the former patrons of the Lusty Lady.I walk right at 4pm and there is no one but the bartender there. She informs me happy hour starts at 4:30pm so I tell her I'm a cheap bastard and will return in half an hour. Out on the street walking north I get approached by two guys looking for the Tap Room and I give them directions or so I thought. After walking a few more blocks I realized I'd sent them in the wrong direction. My bad. They had a f-wording smart phone, I don't know why they didn't use it.
Having killed of 20 minutes wandering around the block I'm almost back to Seneca St as I pass by the W Hotel. Looks posh and for some reason I feel like I should see if they have a hotel bar so I go inside.
The hostess is kind of cute and I ask her what the deal with happy hour and she says to look at the blue book on the table. As I turn I see a white haired man at the bar and immediately I recognize him as one of the skippers on the Deadliest Catch. It makes sense as all the crews and captains are in town for the Catchcon thing on Saturday to which I got an inside deal to attend. He's talking about cod, IFQs, and crew shares with another guy who I assume is on the program but don't recognize. I order a Manny's and ask the bartender if there was an elevated level at eye candy at the hotel bar as opposed to other spots. He makes a funny hooker joke and compliments my knowledge about Bernard's happy hour although I'm admittedly curious to see how people react to the reality stars.
The white haired man who is extremely tan as he had just come up from vacationing in Mexico (and wasn't pleased about leaving there to do Catchcon) is drinking martinis and spots my Fisherman's Bar hoodie and asks what it says on it. I tell him and he goes back to his conversation with the other guy. When that guy goes to take a piss he asks if I'm a fisherman and I tell yes and that I live in Kodiak and rattle of my sea resume. This is just after I overheard he say he'd fired his entire crew after Discovery left Alaska the past season and hadn't told them. Not that I'm looking for a job. He then says he knew I was a fisherman because I gave him the f-word you look when I walked in. Huh? I inquire about dealing with the fans and he calls them the 45-45 club: 45 year old women 45 pounds overweight and having to give hugs for six hours. The drunk blogger from Kodiak thinks the skipper of the Kodiak is pretty damn funny.
A redheaded gentleman who looked almost exactly like that firefighting Alaska Men magazine coverboy takes the seat to my left. He's dressed like an attorney and knowing the area I think it is a safe bet he is. He gets some purple drink with a leaf in it, mint I guess, and minds his own business. The bartender and I are discussing the state of the world. "Wild Bill" is downing more martinis. There is a Tupperware container with strange white and green beads in it and I ask Josh (the bartender) what's in the container. Wasabi peas. He quickly dispenses little dishes to everyone at the bar and I start munching them down like popcorn even as the burn sets in behind my beak. The guy on my left orders some Midori concoction that looks like somene poured five green glowsticks into a glass. We make Fukushima references. About five minutes later Bill leans forward and shoots a wasabi pea right into redhead guy's radioactive girly drink. It splashes him in the eye and he mumbles something about an attorney. I ask him if that's what he does for a living and he says no, he works in a rail yard and its almost as dangerous as crabbing. He whips out his phone and shows me pictures of a train that hit a semi and dented containers.
Bill buys him another drink and as Josh tries to take away the one with the pea in it I say I'll take that, dump a dozen more peas in it, and take a sip. Three Manny's and my Alaskan bar animal is coming out. There is some commotion as they stand and start hugging people. The Time Bandit crew was now here. Redhead Dude tells me he doesn't watch the show but his buddy loves it and is debating getting a picture. I urge him to do it just for his friend so he gets up and they take the pic you see up top. In my pocket is my brand new Q3HD but I'm not in the same boat. They should be asking for my picture. I'm El Sandinista gawd damn it. DHM texts me and is parked in front of Bernard's so I shake Bill's hand and run out the door while Johnathan Whatshisname kills Crown shots like a trained assassin.
Josh is out there on the corner as his shift had ended so I shove a couple bucks in his hand as a tip. Jump in the green Pizza Chris replica Exploder and off to the magical land of Alki. Or the Alki tavern to be exact. This was where we were going to take the water taxi to before for $1 burgers. Today it is $1 tacos. Dutch harbor has never had Supergoose before so I order one for her and another for me then get six tacos. She has two and I have the rest. When she leaves to get her brother down the street I get three more. So much for vegan living.
The Alki Tavern has a giant American flag on the ceiling. It was once known as a biker bar and a few of the customers look like they are paying tribute to that era. There is a blonde in the corner so amazingly hot I really can't find the right words now a day later. Of course she leaves. And soon we do as well.
We get to the Skylark Bar and it is a long time before the show. I have a Manny's before switching to PBR the rest of the night. I discuss I Am with DHM and slowing her other friends trickle in. The first band starts a little after 9pm and they are pretty good. the drummer is a beast and I'm starting to air drum under the table. After their performance and chatting with the bassist I get on their mailing list as I wouldn't mind hearing them again.
I'm introduced to the drummer of Behold, DHM's brother's band which is on next. He tells me the story of meeting Leon Washington at a 7/11 and follows that with his claim to fame as being the first person ever kicked out of Qwest Field. Someone needs to get him and Wild Bill together.
Kimmerblue shows up with her man that until this point nobody had met. Seems like a nice guy. Behold starts playing and I put the new pocket cam into action. I get about 12 or 13 songs on "tape". I'm wondering if the SWAT team has made it to W Hotel yet and how drunk the fishermen have got them. After Behold's set we hang out for a bit and about half the bar empties out before the last band starts. We watch them for a bit. Their groupies are on the sexy side. Charissa and something that starts with an S. Guess who doesn't want to leave now?
We get in the cab and head back to the city when DHM realizes she doesn't have her keys. Piss outside on the side of the building, blah blah blah, her brother shows up and gives me a ride back to Wallingford.
