Summer is here although it is hard to tell because it actually looked like summer Outside outside. I leave for The Bay in seven days where I will no doubt get to belly up to the bars at the King Ko, Eddie's, Hatfield's, The Red Dog, and my favorite The Fisherman's Bar. But before I go it is my civic duty to keep you, my only reader, informed of the performance of our local bartenders who I will miss dearly while in Naknek.
7. Diana: Henry's - I've dropped the beloved Miss Carrie out of the AP ranking for the first time but replaced her with someone who should have been there every week. If it was a Top Ei8ht that may have well happened. RUMOR ALERT: The BuzzardBait might be in town this weekend!
6. Jackie: Tropics - Recently gave birth but months of preggy time didn't stop her from wearing a smile behind the bowling alley bar and placing Miller Lite in frosty chill glasses for a braaaaah-thaaaah.
5. Duana: (sp?, sounds like but not spelled Donna, that I know). Bernie's - The ex-wife of Micheal Irvin, she will give you some shiz if you get a Mohito Bacardi Breezer but will let you off the hook if she makes you a Cosmo which gets me to this; Is there a reason the lead character in Sex in the City is so closely named to the famous Pittsburgh QB for the 1970's? Was the SITC creator taking a shot the Fox commentator and Tonight Show regular? What if Samantha and the other hoes were named after Jimmy Johnson and Howie Long? I can see the red head with a crew cut already.
4. Pattie: Tony's - Sure, you can be the owner and make the list, why the hot place not? She works enough nights and isn't subject to turnover like mere mortals.
3. Miss Judy: Tropic's - I was going to move her to around 5th or 6th but she hooked the Wolfboy and I up BIG TIME at Crab Fest. No details.
2. Daria: El Chi's - If she looked like Don Imus she wouldn't be on the list. Added to the physical talent she's f-wording an Old School 80's product shipped K.H.S. I feel like a freshman again.
1. Mel: Tony's - Defending her top spot is our dear Mel who was smokin' in some Winehouse quality f-me boots and lil black "Rock"tail dress on Saturday. It was like watching my girl become a woman (that gets 7.5 on the Creepy Scale). However we like our Mel in full Kodiak attire just fine as she sports this cool hoodie from one of the blue collar unions in The Big City (below video). The stranger next to me later pointed out the puffins in the logo together almost look like a bulldog's head. I'll have what he's drinking.
