This spot is usually reserved for Letters To the Wetsy but I'll take on The Clarkston's XLII column today. I considered putting this on jockoftherock.com so I flipped a coin and this site won. Sandinyerface.com elects to receive. JOTR.com, which goal do you wish to defend? Good luck, gentlemen.• How many times do the announcers bring up Peyton Manning? Over/Under: Five
The Clarkston’s pick: Over
El Sandinista's pick: Over
Is Joe Buck doing the telecast? Bloody hell. He's in my Top Five Arses I Want To Kick right below Carson Daly. Pam Oliver would make the lsit but you can't hit girls, even in make believe. I think Madden should make a cameo in the booth, say nothing, rip a massive fart, and smile.
• How many times will the announcers say Gisele or boot? Over/Under: Two
The Clarkston’s pick: Under
El Sandinista's pick: Over
Don't underestimate the power of FOX, Derek. The Goose will have a supermodel on his arm wearing a him-sized ankle brace while eating an entire moose.
• Will Don Shula shake Bill Belichick’s hand after the game?
The Clarkston’s pick: No
El Sandinista's pick: Over, ur, I mean no
Is Don Shula going to even be in Glendale? How long after the game? Wait, there is no time limit on this so I'm sure it will happen in the next 15 years. I'm changing my answer to yes. In the year 2015 drunk at a Shaq charity event.
• What song will Tom Petty sing to end the halftime show?
The Clarkston’s pick: “Runnin’ Down a Dream.”
El Sandinista's pick: "I Won't Back Down."(just to be different, I think he got me here but I'm sure it is a medley and both will be played)
Actually I think he will be too stoned to perform and violate some FCC-drug image rule and cost the network a billion in fines that Bush will use to pay for a few days on the war he started. They still need to bring back the MTV Bevis and Butthead Halftime episodes.
• How long will it take Jordin Sparks to sing the national anthem? Over/Under: One minute and 42 seconds.
The Clarkston’s pick: Over
El Sandinista's pick: Over
It won't be Whitney. Whitney Houston? Remember her? Anyone?
• Will there be an overtime?
The Clarkston’s pick: Yes
El Sandinista's pick: No
But I'd like to see that too.
• How many interceptions will Eli Manning throw? Over/Under: Two.
The Clarkston’s pick: Over.
El Sandinista's pick: Even
It is Eli Manning for Allah's sake, he has to throw a couple. It's the law. But he's "a game manager" now like Billy Martin. He'll have to do the Trent Dilfer with the Ravens act to win and he can.
• Who will win Super Bowl XLII?
The Clarkston’s pick: Giants.
El Sandinista's pick: Mmmmmmmmmmmmmwell.....
But first a direct quote from The Clarkston's column today.
"Quite frankly, I don’t really care who wins this game. I don’t like Eli and I don’t like the Patriots. If the Giants win all we are going to hear is that Eli won a Super Bowl before brother Peyton, and if the Patriots win ... well, we all know that story."
Huh?
• Who will win a Super Bowl first?
The Clarkston’s pick: Eli
El Sandinista's pick: Peyton
I win. That was easy.
As for my game pick, I was going to take New York. I have been saying that for two weeks but now that Derek is also taking them, the same guy I owned in the KDM picks section, I'm changing to New England. But they won't cover (Nick's Pick: Giants).
The Clarkston's following paragraph was how he liked Plastic Ho Bareass predicting a victory. Of the 53 guys on the roster, one guy on the underdog squad always shoots his mouth off and IS ALWAYS WRONG. Broadway Joe was probably the last one to get it right. Jinx.
I'm also taking tales on the coinflip since I just used that to pick which blog to post on. Most people take heads because in comes first. Has a ref ever said "Tales or heads?". This mentality is the same as people making the effort to make it to the voting booth and then picking the name on top as if it was the Billboard Top 40 list. 'Merica is doomed.
