My homie TSA requested I get off my arse and pump out a report on the past sixty days in Da Bay. Since I talked my way out of getting pummeled by a guy from Boston last night at Anthony's Bar and No Grill plus no hangover I have no excuse not to start.
Like last year I didn't take notes and wasn't going to go into every single day taking to picture is worth a paragraph approach again. I took four cameras with me and have close to 1000 pictures and videos to work from.
We left Kodiak June 2nd on a sunny day. One of many that we would miss while getting rocked and windburned in the Nush all summer. Spotted this fancy sailing vessel outside of Ouzinkie.
That's right. Gone two months and short on highlights. I really can't explain how dull this season was. Mind numbing to the tenth degree. But it does get better than just seeing a wind powered yacht.
Once across the Shelikof we had to anchor up a couple times due to weather. One night there was another boat from Homer sitting alone doing the same. We ended up tying up with them (and later towing them), Francisco (pictured) and his crewmember Jason the wannabe organic farmer from back east. Way back east, like Vermont.
So after some delays we finally made it to Sand Point. The Shawnee and our bookkeeper Sweets flew in and joined the excitement of this coastal community. Yeah, heavy sarcasm today, like a f-wording anchor made of lead. But we did hit the Chinese restaurant next to AC for dinner one night, my first time to this establishment. Not bad at all. Ate til I sprained my colon.
It didn't take long to get the Wilghtnee in the water and start making our way to Bay of Bristol. Weather halted our progress at False Pass so we tied up at their fairly newish harbor. Along with the F/V Rebel that started traveling with us we were the only boats mooring there. Kinda spooky. This gave me an opportunity to walk around this tiny community. There was one girl in a car driving back and forth, or cruising, between the dock and the center of town. She went by me eight times and waved every single time. It must suck being the only sixteen year old for a 150 mile radius with 1/2 a mile of road and $10 a gallon gas. After the fourth wave I was beginning to feel uncomfortable.
Gotta have a cemetery shot, right? So once the winds came down we headed up the hill for our spot at the dock in Dillingham and deliver the beer we were transporting for the famed Mud Marshall of Tundra County. If I go back next year I'll say you can NEVER bring enough beer with you since it is twice as expensive as Kodiak up there. We had three cases and a box of wine to combat eight weeks of remote living which if you do the math isn't going to last long. I'm surprised we did as well as we did.
One night at the bulkhead I was talked into pretending I was drunk and going on deck in my underwear to "entertain" some foreigners sitting above. This proves I'll do anything for pizza and a pitcher of Sierra Nevada Pale Ale.
As for actual tendering and what you call work, it was at best slow. Our biggest days came in June and by the 5th of July it was already starting to feel like it was over. This made for quick deliveries but didn't help us gain much sleep until I started taking more turns on the crane and alternating with the skipper. Sweets was hating it as neither of us do the books so the poor mudderphutter was constantly having to get up.
Starting this season we also had to start adding chlorine dioxide to our tanks as the cannery claims to be the last in the bay to use this schmitt. Its like half bleach, half Kryptonite. The vapors from it knocked out the Del the Funky Quality Assurance guy in charge of supplying us with it so we treated it like nerve gas. If there are no fish returning in four years you can point fingers at The Yellow.
We also spent the season in a different area. Our hostile takeover of Nushagak Point was another of the rare highlights as this zone is neck deep in lovely human females. We'd met a few briefly last season but this year we saw them hourly. It pretty much made up for the weather and lack of activity. Believe me, I could go into detail about each and every one of these hotties in their early to mid-twenties but I'm two weeks away from turning 40 and just feel dirty all the time now so I won't reinforce it with more words. And these aren't exactly the sandinyerface slutbags you Triple F* or whateva. They are really nice chicks. The kind you marry, impregnate, and idiotic concepts like that.
And to top of the Summer of Hipwader Hotties not only were we surrounded by small boat beauties and some Serbian cannery eye candy but we got to know the Queen of the Nush on one of the other setnetter tenders a bit better. Last season she started coming out of her shell, or at least the cabin, and in '11 she was a borderline socialite. Every guy who delivered to us knew her name which of course I can not use because she's on something like Stalker Threat Level Orange by now.
Starting this season we also had to start adding chlorine dioxide to our tanks as the cannery claims to be the last in the bay to use this schmitt. Its like half bleach, half Kryptonite. The vapors from it knocked out the Del the Funky Quality Assurance guy in charge of supplying us with it so we treated it like nerve gas. If there are no fish returning in four years you can point fingers at The Yellow.
We also spent the season in a different area. Our hostile takeover of Nushagak Point was another of the rare highlights as this zone is neck deep in lovely human females. We'd met a few briefly last season but this year we saw them hourly. It pretty much made up for the weather and lack of activity. Believe me, I could go into detail about each and every one of these hotties in their early to mid-twenties but I'm two weeks away from turning 40 and just feel dirty all the time now so I won't reinforce it with more words. And these aren't exactly the sandinyerface slutbags you Triple F* or whateva. They are really nice chicks. The kind you marry, impregnate, and idiotic concepts like that.
And to top of the Summer of Hipwader Hotties not only were we surrounded by small boat beauties and some Serbian cannery eye candy but we got to know the Queen of the Nush on one of the other setnetter tenders a bit better. Last season she started coming out of her shell, or at least the cabin, and in '11 she was a borderline socialite. Every guy who delivered to us knew her name which of course I can not use because she's on something like Stalker Threat Level Orange by now.
But if I had to name one thing that stood out more than any other it was the Eagle Burger at The Duct Tape China Restaurant. This half pound beast loaded with super thin onions, fresh mushrooms and jalapenos, and more bacon than I've ever seen on a patty. Right up there with Umi crunchy sushi and Pegasus pizza. Easily the best hamburger I'ver ever had and with battered fries on the side it was worth the $18 a plate. This burger alone could be the reason I come back for a 20th season in the region next year.
Of course there were the usual characters in the mix this year. Reefer Ray, the Beach Gang, Skin, Bear, Team Dylan, The Olenator, Dougie Heffner, Becker, that Palin kid, and of course Sam.
Of course there were the usual characters in the mix this year. Reefer Ray, the Beach Gang, Skin, Bear, Team Dylan, The Olenator, Dougie Heffner, Becker, that Palin kid, and of course Sam.
And like last year the local public library was a savior for sanity although there was one Moore reason to go there as often as possible. It's all about the WiFi as the book selection was geared for the more towards the locals. Hey, I'm not such a bad guy after all!We finished our season on July 22nd and proceeded to get overintoxicated with some help from a bottle of Canadian Mist I'd stashed in the bow and some local setnetters who still practiced the long lost art of shotgunning beers in the parking lot. Bells were rung, heads awoke hung, there is no pussy at the Willow and we did the Sea Inn til we couldn't see out.
We anchored up in the Wood River on our last night in the bay to get out of the wind and were treated to a display of beluga whales all around us. I think I want to be reincarnated as one. If we were stuck there one more day I think I would have reproduced with one.
One our way back we had to stop in Egigik to get out of the increasingly hostile seas. In all my yeras I'd never been to this place and for some reason it felt like the end. Shaq retired after 19 seasons. Can I? Is it time to break the 39 summers in Alaska streak and try a Junejulyaugust in the city? Is the love affair with Naknek and Friends over?
One our way back we had to stop in Egigik to get out of the increasingly hostile seas. In all my yeras I'd never been to this place and for some reason it felt like the end. Shaq retired after 19 seasons. Can I? Is it time to break the 39 summers in Alaska streak and try a Junejulyaugust in the city? Is the love affair with Naknek and Friends over?
*find'em, f-word'em, and flee
