Hola, fisherfans. So what are Deadliest Catch fans called? Is there a nickname like Trekkies for them (you)? Crabbies? Landlovers? People without a date on a Tuesday night? One sec, I need to check the final of the Dallas-OKC game........OK. The Zombie Sonics lost. Where was I? Oh yes, the show. That was a grind to even watch. Lots of negativity and I think I have a headache from the never ending bleeping out of words. I wish they'd have an unedited version after 10:30pm just so I wouldn't have to here that f-wording sound. Or blank it out instead of bleeping. You hear me producer guy with the weird glasses?
We get to see what happens to Lynn who fell asleep during last week's closing credits. I don't like reading the credits either. They are in small print but they've never caused me to pass out. I must say I stand corrected on the odds of hitting another vessel as it is way more crowded than I thought. This coming from a Bristol Bay gill netter where you couldn't fish alone if you wanted to. Wizard 1, sandinyerface 0. Now a trick I learned for staying awake came from a past CM crewmemeber, the majority owner's son, who taught me to pull a nose hair when you are sleepy. Works like a charm. But don't take my word for it. Take some NyQuil and then half an hour later hank one of those bad boys out yer schnoz. If you own a nose hair trimmer and use it regularly I really don't know what to tell you except maybe die yuppie scum.
Kidding. I have one. So back to the crewmember with a girl's name. Again, why did he turn the watch alarm off? It's a snooze bar x 1000. You just don't do that. Unless you are on TV I guess. I'm a little suspicious on Colburn getting up after so much sleeplessness like that and would love to see the whole thing in real time but this is reality TV so I guess that isn't going to happen. All the crap rolling around the galley could have been doing that even if Lynnette was awake. Hmmmmm. I'd search his stateroom for a nose hair trimmer and toss it overboard like that guitar neck if I were skipper. BUT WHAT IF IT IS AN EAR HAIR TRIMMER???
They sure love showing those skull and bones on the bow, don't they? Have any of you even seen the movie Time Bandit? I confuse it with Ice Pirates which would also make a good name for such a fishing vessel. Dune...not so much. Now that wave that crashed over them was pretty good schmitt which is why we saw about 15 replays of it. They even took a commercial break and came back to a few more views of it. John Madden said Boom like twenty times at home with Princess Leia chained to his side.
Meanwhile on the boat named for my devoid of bikinis hometown, Dr. Wild is checking in with his patient with a bad back and dealing with this Adam dude who seems to be hormonal. I snickered quite loudly at the anger management line. Let's play a game. I'll give you the punchline, you name the joke: BECAUSE MAD COW WAS TAKEN! Although seems like one guy is on his schmittlist I bet Bill fires everyone by the end of the season. Wink. But I like the glasses look, William. Kate Middleton hooked up with the wrong guy.
Cornelia returns to the show this week and and Capt. D. has a lil mutiny on his hands. But it ain't him. It's the blue crab. Them mudderphutters are "elusive". It seems like everyone who goes after them fails. So why do they? Is this a Discovery influence? Regardless, after not seeing him at Catchcon I'm putting two plus two together and assuming he's not back for Opilios or will be endorsing any OTC tummy drugs in the next 50 years.
Now if I'm Jake or Josh and have 12 1/2% ownership I'm saying hot damn and hanging it up, collecting the check while others go bust their balls. They don't have to be there and can still make money. I've always opposed this slave system where the owner isn't on the boat but in their case I'd make an exception. In the limited entry permit fisheries I've done the permit holder MUST be on the boat. Think about it. Think about how this effects the future. Yes, this is the first time I've asked people who read my schmitt to think because I know this is more of a place to escape. My bad.
Just like the CM, T-Mobile Girl is BACK! I promised myself I'd cut down on the references to advertisements this week so I'll keep it short.
1. I predict a Weight Watchers for Guys tie in/product placement next season on one of the boats.2. I like the back-up camera ad on the VW. Just not twice.
3. Tornado Rampage 2011 looks awesome.
4. I counted over 25 commercials during the program. They are on to you.
My dad watched with me again and was silent until Colburn said $50 per crab. Thought he was going to walk down to the dock and try and score a job for a second. And he probably could. He's way tougher than me. And Lynn. But I felt for this kid practically begging to be forgiven for falling asleep. I say no blood, no foul. Just don't turn the watch alarm off, Z.
Scottbrooke says things in a very simple way but he's dead on. I'll say now I hope they bring him back next season. The "save face" statement was exactly what I was thinking. Yes, could be editing, but FULLMER looked really bad with that Popsicle in his hand. Wait, they have Popsicles? Winter fishing?
Where the hell is the Northwestern? Sig Nation is going to bitch big time. Did I forget anyone? Yes, I did. The Incentive. So I posted a pic I took last year.
Anywho, the show ends with more meltdown on the CM which if nothing else is giving Knot's Landing a run for the money. Then they go to Swords without missing a beat. Same music, narrator, concept. They call it a "sneak peak" but it looks more like a pilot to me. I watched the first twelve minutes but wanted to pump this post out more than listen to any more bleeping. Dude I saw has been watching too many fishing shows I think. Potty mouth. I'm offended. FYI: I've never done a fishery with hooks, not even in the Red Light District, so it's actually more interesting to me in that respect. But I don't see the Perfect Storm crowd overtaking the Bering Boys anytime soon.
OK, about one more week before I send my arse towards False Pass to go cater to the Cowboys of the Sea. Next week's review will probably be my last until August. Like you care. Look for my halibut sex tape around the same time.
