Today is one of my favorite days of the year- Labor Day! Why? It is the traditional spot for our fantasy football draft and I put it ahead of Christmas on my list of kick arse annual events. This thang, The Frozen Tundra League, started in a house in Woodless Acres in 1999 with ten guys, most of whom I didn't know. Now the league is like a fraternity of brothers, competing for the ultimate prize on Earf; A Frozen Tundra championship. I have two. 2001 and 2005. Even a chimp would know I'm due next year but I'd like to make that title number four.
My first team was called the Leafblowers. After that first draft I moved to San Diego where Cryin' Ryan Leaf was at the helm so I renamed the Charger faithful Leafblowers and used that as my team name. When the Cowboys started having a lot of problems with something we call the law and saw ex-players fill jails faster than AST at an underage pallet party I changed my team name to the Bubbahumpers. I won my first fantasy super bowl under the name Island Firestarters which was what I was going to call the freebee newspaper I was planning at the time. Before blogs. And finally I came up with the Sandinistas from which I took my on-line name. That originated with my high school English teacher Mr. Kubiak and a man named Augusto Cesar Sandino in the Central American jungle many moons ago. I would later find the perfect logo for my team. The artist is Marco Almera and you can see some of his other work here. I L-word her.
Allow me to introduce the other 11 teams that make up the 2008 season:
Clam Rams: One of my closests friends. So close I married him and his wife but if she finds out about his team name he might need a lawyer. He holds the keeper rights to LaDainian Tomlinson so he's always a threat.
Scrapsquad: Local fisherman and really good guy for a Cowboys fan. Won the NFL team Dreamchair at the Villagio MNF contest last year. I usually kick his arse but he had my number last season. Afros....I want....revenge.
Blitzkrieg: A Bronco fan who takes his name from the old Seahawks rivalry. I shouldn't have to explain it any further. Another fisherman, he along with Clam, Scrap, and I make up the Hell's Island Division. Blitz has been my number one rival the entire nine years of the league and I enjoy beating him as much as sexual intercousre with a human female. Or f-wording. Making the playoffs often comes down to him or me and usually I come out on top. BATTLE!
Buzzard Bait: Former Henry's employee and the league defending champ but was the worst team forever until he got lucky last year. As a result of his success 2007 is looked at like a strike year. Yer going down. Not only did he win our fantasy league but he's a Giants fan so he probably supernovaed and assended to Football Heaven somewhere in the clouds above Wisconsin surrounded by cheerleader angels who know how to use Quark.
Star 69ers: I like that name and it belongs to The Commish who moved to Anchorage years ago but kept us all together. One of the FOUR brothers and a devoted Seahawks fan.
Eliminators: Most Super Bowl appearences and most Super Bowl losses. He hates our 17th Week league I think. Most end the 16th so the subs don't screw it up but a week without fantasy is a week of reality. No thanks. Bro of Commish.
4Skins: Former Mirror sports writer and DC football supporter. Won the league in 2006 with some help for the Chicago bears defense.
AK Hardliners: Classmate of mine ('89!), bro of Commish, and recently moved out of Palmer to somewhere further north to work on The Slope. Changed his team name this season from the classic 4thDownSyndrome, perhaps the Palin Effect is play here. Seahawks fan as well. Four-star schmitt talker.
Rookies, Savvy Nickels, and Capt. Bitch Slap, are the newer teams with little or no Kodiak connection. Savvy is also '89! KHS but lives on the Right Coast.
As a special sandinyerface event I'm going to attempt to LIVE BLOG the draft today adding to this post as it goes so long as I'm not overly distracted from the main task of creating a champion.
1:37pm: Just wrote all you read above and need to clear my desktops; both computer and furniture. The draft starts at 5:30pm Alaska Standard Time and I have the 6th overall pick. All team can keep two players from the year before. Mine are Dallas RB Marion Barber III and Colts TE Dallas Clark. That could confuse somebody. I'm not as prepped as usual. Kost years I read eight magazines and create a massive spreadsheet and try to predict who will be taken before my selection. My cheat sheets are less detailed and numerous today. I need to eat something. Damnit. No time.
2:04pm: Got the iTunes radio on, ate some cottage cheese, and entered the Draft Room. It was a lot more fun when we used to do this in person but obviously with people spread across 'Merica that isn't possible anymore. I already know Blitz is taking Steven Jackson with the first pick. He already has Addai as a keeper. The keeper league draft is like starting in the third round of a normal draft since so many top players are gone. jackson is still around because Blitz had him last year but by rule we can not keep two players of the same position. Since he has first pick he can just get the damn Ram back.
Unwritten rule of drafts. DO NOT DRINK. Save it for after. If we were all together I'd be pushing beer on everyone else and pretending to chug with an empty can. If I could afford strippers to sit on all their laps I would. All but mine. Focus, McCain, focus. This is honestly one day I'm lucky not to be in a relationship.
3:23pm: Tired of waiting. Looking up electric vehicle conversion kits on Google. The one for a Dodge Neon looks promising. Two more hours. I should be checking injury reports before I end up picking a gimp.
4:33pm: The Commish and Rigs are in the Draft Room. The Alderwood Penthouse living hall has been converted into WAR ROOM 2008. Pens. Note pads. Phones. Seltzer water. Let's DO THIS!
4:54pm: F-word. I'm starting to second-guess. I wonder how Gustov will effect Shockey?
4:58pm: Its not what you did last year. Its what yer gonna do this year. Let's DO THIS!
5:09pm: The owners are showing up now.
5:22pm: RB or WR. RB or WR. RB or WR. RB or WR. RB or WR. RB or WR.
5:43pm: I got Larry Fitzgerald. Weird things happening. McFadden went third.
6:07pm: Hard to keep up with this. I got Willie Parker and McNabb.
6:14pm: Just locked up the SEAHAWKS defense and special teams.
6:57pm. After and hour and a half this is really moving fast. 11th round already. We've taken four hours to get this done in the past. Got Aaron Rogers for a back-up to McNabb and Brandon Jackson outta the real frozen tundra.
7:04pm: Checked my e-mail and I won two lotteries in the UK and some guy in Africa has a couple million for me. All in one day. What are the odds? Bad, the odds are bad.
7:17pm. Done already? Wow. Here's what I ended up with.
8:02pm: I set my line-up and I'm ready to take on The Clam Rams for Week 1. Wish him luck. I'm not exactly pumped about my receivers but I like the rest of my squad. If Bolden gets his way and is traded it will be interesting to see what happens to Fitz. I drafted Willie parker last year but traded him for Maroney which for much of the season was a moron-y move on my part. Rarely do I get the bad end of a trade. In fact I should sell cars. Used ones. My regret might be not taking Cutler instead of Donny when I had the chance. Damnit. And will I get a contact high just from drafting Janikowski?
My first team was called the Leafblowers. After that first draft I moved to San Diego where Cryin' Ryan Leaf was at the helm so I renamed the Charger faithful Leafblowers and used that as my team name. When the Cowboys started having a lot of problems with something we call the law and saw ex-players fill jails faster than AST at an underage pallet party I changed my team name to the Bubbahumpers. I won my first fantasy super bowl under the name Island Firestarters which was what I was going to call the freebee newspaper I was planning at the time. Before blogs. And finally I came up with the Sandinistas from which I took my on-line name. That originated with my high school English teacher Mr. Kubiak and a man named Augusto Cesar Sandino in the Central American jungle many moons ago. I would later find the perfect logo for my team. The artist is Marco Almera and you can see some of his other work here. I L-word her.
Allow me to introduce the other 11 teams that make up the 2008 season:
Clam Rams: One of my closests friends. So close I married him and his wife but if she finds out about his team name he might need a lawyer. He holds the keeper rights to LaDainian Tomlinson so he's always a threat.
Scrapsquad: Local fisherman and really good guy for a Cowboys fan. Won the NFL team Dreamchair at the Villagio MNF contest last year. I usually kick his arse but he had my number last season. Afros....I want....revenge.
Blitzkrieg: A Bronco fan who takes his name from the old Seahawks rivalry. I shouldn't have to explain it any further. Another fisherman, he along with Clam, Scrap, and I make up the Hell's Island Division. Blitz has been my number one rival the entire nine years of the league and I enjoy beating him as much as sexual intercousre with a human female. Or f-wording. Making the playoffs often comes down to him or me and usually I come out on top. BATTLE!
Buzzard Bait: Former Henry's employee and the league defending champ but was the worst team forever until he got lucky last year. As a result of his success 2007 is looked at like a strike year. Yer going down. Not only did he win our fantasy league but he's a Giants fan so he probably supernovaed and assended to Football Heaven somewhere in the clouds above Wisconsin surrounded by cheerleader angels who know how to use Quark.
Star 69ers: I like that name and it belongs to The Commish who moved to Anchorage years ago but kept us all together. One of the FOUR brothers and a devoted Seahawks fan.
Eliminators: Most Super Bowl appearences and most Super Bowl losses. He hates our 17th Week league I think. Most end the 16th so the subs don't screw it up but a week without fantasy is a week of reality. No thanks. Bro of Commish.
4Skins: Former Mirror sports writer and DC football supporter. Won the league in 2006 with some help for the Chicago bears defense.
AK Hardliners: Classmate of mine ('89!), bro of Commish, and recently moved out of Palmer to somewhere further north to work on The Slope. Changed his team name this season from the classic 4thDownSyndrome, perhaps the Palin Effect is play here. Seahawks fan as well. Four-star schmitt talker.
Rookies, Savvy Nickels, and Capt. Bitch Slap, are the newer teams with little or no Kodiak connection. Savvy is also '89! KHS but lives on the Right Coast.
As a special sandinyerface event I'm going to attempt to LIVE BLOG the draft today adding to this post as it goes so long as I'm not overly distracted from the main task of creating a champion.
1:37pm: Just wrote all you read above and need to clear my desktops; both computer and furniture. The draft starts at 5:30pm Alaska Standard Time and I have the 6th overall pick. All team can keep two players from the year before. Mine are Dallas RB Marion Barber III and Colts TE Dallas Clark. That could confuse somebody. I'm not as prepped as usual. Kost years I read eight magazines and create a massive spreadsheet and try to predict who will be taken before my selection. My cheat sheets are less detailed and numerous today. I need to eat something. Damnit. No time.
2:04pm: Got the iTunes radio on, ate some cottage cheese, and entered the Draft Room. It was a lot more fun when we used to do this in person but obviously with people spread across 'Merica that isn't possible anymore. I already know Blitz is taking Steven Jackson with the first pick. He already has Addai as a keeper. The keeper league draft is like starting in the third round of a normal draft since so many top players are gone. jackson is still around because Blitz had him last year but by rule we can not keep two players of the same position. Since he has first pick he can just get the damn Ram back.
Unwritten rule of drafts. DO NOT DRINK. Save it for after. If we were all together I'd be pushing beer on everyone else and pretending to chug with an empty can. If I could afford strippers to sit on all their laps I would. All but mine. Focus, McCain, focus. This is honestly one day I'm lucky not to be in a relationship.
3:23pm: Tired of waiting. Looking up electric vehicle conversion kits on Google. The one for a Dodge Neon looks promising. Two more hours. I should be checking injury reports before I end up picking a gimp.
4:33pm: The Commish and Rigs are in the Draft Room. The Alderwood Penthouse living hall has been converted into WAR ROOM 2008. Pens. Note pads. Phones. Seltzer water. Let's DO THIS!
4:54pm: F-word. I'm starting to second-guess. I wonder how Gustov will effect Shockey?
4:58pm: Its not what you did last year. Its what yer gonna do this year. Let's DO THIS!
5:09pm: The owners are showing up now.
5:22pm: RB or WR. RB or WR. RB or WR. RB or WR. RB or WR. RB or WR.
5:43pm: I got Larry Fitzgerald. Weird things happening. McFadden went third.
6:07pm: Hard to keep up with this. I got Willie Parker and McNabb.
6:14pm: Just locked up the SEAHAWKS defense and special teams.
6:57pm. After and hour and a half this is really moving fast. 11th round already. We've taken four hours to get this done in the past. Got Aaron Rogers for a back-up to McNabb and Brandon Jackson outta the real frozen tundra.
7:04pm: Checked my e-mail and I won two lotteries in the UK and some guy in Africa has a couple million for me. All in one day. What are the odds? Bad, the odds are bad.
7:17pm. Done already? Wow. Here's what I ended up with.
| 3 (#30) | McNabb, Donovan (QB PHI) | |
| Keeper | Barber, Marion (RB DAL) | |
| 2 (#19) | Parker, Willie (RB PIT) | |
| 1 (#6) | Fitzgerald, Larry (WR ARI) | |
| 6 (#67) | Moss, Santana (WR WAS) | |
| 7 (#78) | Chambers, Chris (WR SD) | |
| Keeper | Clark, Dallas (TE IND) | |
| 11 (#126) | Carlson, John (TE SEA) | |
| 13 (#150) | Gould, Robbie (K CHI) | |
| 5 (#54) | Seahawks (DST SEA) | |
| 9 (#102) | Rodgers, Aaron (QB GB) | |
| 4 (#43) | Young, Selvin (RB DEN) | |
| 10 (#115) | Jackson, Brandon (RB GB) | |
| 14 (#163) | Janikowski, Sebastian (K OAK) | |
| 12 (#139) | Eagles (DST PHI) | |
8:02pm: I set my line-up and I'm ready to take on The Clam Rams for Week 1. Wish him luck. I'm not exactly pumped about my receivers but I like the rest of my squad. If Bolden gets his way and is traded it will be interesting to see what happens to Fitz. I drafted Willie parker last year but traded him for Maroney which for much of the season was a moron-y move on my part. Rarely do I get the bad end of a trade. In fact I should sell cars. Used ones. My regret might be not taking Cutler instead of Donny when I had the chance. Damnit. And will I get a contact high just from drafting Janikowski?
