This post was updated on Tuesday, January 1st, 2008
Someday I will look back on my life....on the internet
I had a chance to go see National Treasure (II)- Book of Secrets but passed on it since I didn't see the first one. I'll rent the first two before seeing the threequel, National Treasure- Art Bell's Wet Dream. Since I skipped out on the Orpheum and therefore a movie review I can concentrate on the year that was 2007. This site was created in August but the following recounts some of the" highlights" the past twelve months.
January 6, 2007
I was there at Qwest Field when Tony Romo became "the Bill Buckner of this generation" according to one Derek Clarkston. If there is any greater high that witnessing in person yer favorite team knocking Dallas out of the playoffs then I have yet to find it.
If I recall right this game was the debut of The Fan Van as well. A 1971 panel van belonging to Chef Jerm with hydraulics and custom Seahawk artwork on all four sides and a massive 12 on the roof.
January 16th, 2007
A Nissan Pathfinder crashes into my office at The-Job-I-Can't-Talk-About. The wall behind me is crushed and come withing three feet of seriously injuring me. I laugh.
January 28th, 2007
A e-mail to the KMXT News Director and I and granted the interview with the newly elected governor/2006 MILF of the Year, Sarah Palin. The News director's title is instantly changed to Nick's Lord and Savior for making this happen and that single program becomes the only creditable JOTR episode ever.February 14, 2007
Nothing involving candy, roses, or sexual activity. Par, not pon farr.
February 25, 2007
I host an Oscars viewing as an excuse to party on a school night. I was viciously attacked by a Cubby clone named Sonny after standing up too fast when they showed Jessica Alba on my projection screen, startling the dog and causing it to snap at me. However it did not punch me in the face. This party inspired talk of starting The Rusty Awards for the best film to be shown in Kodiak. I spoke with Fletch today and he doesn't keep an accurate tally of his box office intake and whcih films did well on the Rock this year although he shared with me that Titanic and ET are still the highest profit films he has ever had. I hate ET.
March 17-18, 2007
I make the mistake of play fighting with a drunk Irish Wolfboy on St. Patrick's Day. After I give him a fake Van Dam-like reverse kick that misses his head by two feet he come 25 inches closer and connects with my eye socket, putting me on the carpet of the Tropic Lanes lobby. Seconds later I get up and we hit the Villagio. Later that night this unmighty duck rolls down a staircase in the Alderwood Penthouse and puts a massive crater in the drywall with his face.
April 21, 2007
I was lucky enough to join my parents for dinner at the Elks to hear Bristol Bay historian and radio man Bob King speak on gillnetting in the sailboat days. The event was a fundraiser for the Kodiak Maritime Museum. The food was fantastic but what stood out was the older couple from Georgia we sat next to who were tourists and came to the dinner just by chance. The husband's name was Larry Johnson (same as my fantasy football RB) and he does stand-up comedy. After the dinner I got to hang out with Mr. King at Tony's a little bit and ask a few questions about the greater Naknek-King Salmon metro area that I hadn't seen in six years not knowing that streak would come to an end two months later.
May 19, 2007
There was a party for the changing of the guard at Tony's Bar and No Grill. Around midnight My Lord and Savior bet I couldn't eat all the leftover macaroni salad left after the party. He offered me $10 to do so and I asked would he do it for ten bucks and said know. Soon a wager was placed on who could eat two pounds of macaroni salad faster and other contributed cash to the prize. Before I knew it a scale was produced and two equal plates were made, placed on stage and Pizza Chris acted as MC before a decent sized crowd for a spur of the moment eating competition. It had a Vadar vs. Skyywalker feel to it but little did the radio god know that I was a four level black belt in stuffing my face (I also switched to a bigger spoon I swiped out of the potato salad just before we started). It wasn't even close as I destroyed him and showed him the power of the dark side. He must have had at least 3/4 of a pound left on his plate when I finished.
Then I went behind Henry's and threw up.
May 19, 2007
There was a party for the changing of the guard at Tony's Bar and No Grill. Around midnight My Lord and Savior bet I couldn't eat all the leftover macaroni salad left after the party. He offered me $10 to do so and I asked would he do it for ten bucks and said know. Soon a wager was placed on who could eat two pounds of macaroni salad faster and other contributed cash to the prize. Before I knew it a scale was produced and two equal plates were made, placed on stage and Pizza Chris acted as MC before a decent sized crowd for a spur of the moment eating competition. It had a Vadar vs. Skyywalker feel to it but little did the radio god know that I was a four level black belt in stuffing my face (I also switched to a bigger spoon I swiped out of the potato salad just before we started). It wasn't even close as I destroyed him and showed him the power of the dark side. He must have had at least 3/4 of a pound left on his plate when I finished.
Then I went behind Henry's and threw up.
CRAB FEST 2007Usually I go to Anchorage for Crab Festival because, well, I don't like it. But this year I decided to stick around and got involved, mainly on Saturday. After doing JOTR from high atop a scissorlift at Kodiak Rental Center with the Nuts of the Round Table with Four Corners I entered the kayak race in the harbor. My problem was I had committed to play flag football an hour after the race started so I signed up for the short course. So did four women. I won my gender bracket of one while the real men battled around Near Island. I showed up at the football game still in neoprene pants and booties and went to work. We, Team Pravda, took on my Island Warrior teammate Tommy B. and his Coastie Arse Swimmer Choads (notice in the photo how the guy is pulling my flags before the ball is to me) who crushed us like Pilot Bread on the dance floor of the Mecca. This was the closest to the NFL I had ever got but sadly would be my last competition as an athlete as the chronic pain in my foot continues to keep this brother down.
After the sporting events I made it to the Wounder Warrior and Women in Underwear show. Although I was happy to give my money to a worthy cause such as helping our vets the event exaggerated a couple key points, mainly they confused lingerie with pajamas and free Ben Beer with Free Ben Beer samples.
From there we made it to Tony's were I witnessed one of the greatest upsets in Kodiak sports history as Mike The Playmaker beat some WWE-BALCO looking mudderphutter in the arm wrestling finals.
June 10, 2007
The Sopranos ends. We drink wine, eat spaghetti, and can't get Journey out our heads for two weeks.
June 21, 2007
The Nuts of the Round Table with Four Corners and I take to the streets to protest the milestone Barry Bonds was about to break.
June 30, 2007Jock of the Rock celebrates its One Year mark and I'm not even there to take part as I made my way back to The Bay aboard the F/V Fayette for two weeks of tendering between the sandbars of the Naknek River.
Around this same time I attain the services of an illegal alien housekeeper. As with many major political figures, this hiring prevents me from running for mayor in September. I offer a man five dollars at a local laundromat to take my place. Not really.
August 17, 2007
I turn 36 but get 86ed by the Mecca over the ejection of my housekeeper who protested being charged $4 for a soda by the wicked witch of the back bar. This prompts the Boycott The Mecca campaign that goes completely unnoticed but is the catalyst to create the blog you are reading now.
September 8, 2007Go to Seattle to watch Seahawks beat Tampa Bay and secure 3rd seed in playoffs.
October 12-22, 2007
and
November 10-20
Go to Seattle again. I think I covered this well enough before.
October 31, 2007
Hit the town as mindless Raider fanatic.
December 17, 2007The Sandinistas are officially knocked out of the postseason in fantasy football but managed to keep nine year playoff appearance streak alive.
December 27, 2007
Realize I can't remember most of 2007 (partly due to El Chi's on December 26th, 2007) but know as a whole it was a hell of a lot of fun. I use lots of pictures to make up for a lack of content.
2008 looks promising as we see the return of Spock, Indian Jones, and Johnny Rambo to the big screen. In November we'll get to pick a new car salesman to lead the country to new lows and the Olympics from China will interfere with the NFL preseason coverage.
